for yucks and aesthetics

many years ago, the exact number of which i refuse to reveal,

my favorite song was a little beatles ditty called I'm Only Sleeping.

i was hoping to embed the song here, but alas, Beatles music is

not only not available to steal on line (sorry mom), it can't even be bought!

the refrain goes something like this:

please don't wake me,

no don't shake me,

leave me where i am,

i'm only sleeping.

ahh. sweet memories.

at any rate, i still love to sleep,

but what i love almost as much is what comes after.

breakfast.

in the dinosaur days, breakfast was a cup of hot tea with honey and a Marlboro, brought to me, in bed, by my friend paddington,

with the song playing in the background.

i’ve long since ditched the cigs.

the song, until this morning, was a distant memory.

there's been no breakfast in bed since my boys served me cheerio’s

for mother’s day, 1995, hours after they had poured the milk.

sweet things.

but, a cup of tea (earl grey now) is still the way I love to start my day.

and on occasion, these things replace the nicotine.

French Omelet

Makes one for one or one for one to share, if they like.

Ingredients:

2 or 3 eggs

some butter

Sea salt

stuff to stuff your omelet

Note: Ideally, you want to use a non stick pan. It just helps, a lot.

For the Omelet: Crack eggs in a small bowl. Whisk with a fork until blended. Add a small splash of water and some salt to the eggs. (I don't like pepper in or on my eggs...sorry mom...but feel free to ruin them with a grind or two now, if you must)

Melt some butter in the pan over medium heat. When the butter begins to just barely sizzle, add the eggs. Let the eggs set a moment...they will start to cook along the edges. At this point, using a rubber spatula, start to push the cooked edges toward the center of the pan, tilting the pan slightly at the same time to allow the runny uncooked eggs to replace the cooked egg edges. Continue this pushing/tilting technique until most of the egg mixture is cooked. Now, add your prepared filling. To finish, roll the omelet out of pan and onto a warm plate by holding the pan atilt over the plate, folding the top third of the omelet over the middle third using your spatula, and continuing by rolling the folded two thirds over the last bit of omelet while simultaneously sliding it onto the plate. Once omelet is safely on the plate, give it a final rub on it's ridge with a stick of butter and perhaps, a dusting of leftover shredded cheese for yucks and aesthetics. It sounds tricky, and actually, it is tricky to roll an omelet. It takes a lot of practice, but the thing to remember is the rolling/folding process should ultimately become one fluid motion. And remember this, too...all in, a perfect omelet takes just a few minutes. If you have slaved over the omelet over the stove for over 5 minutes, throw it out and start again.

Note: As with so many recipes, there are countless filling variations. A classic french omelet is filled simply with shredded gruyere and a mixture of fresh herbs, but you should feel free to be as adventurous as your fridge and pantry allow.

One more note: "French" omelets are ALWAYS slightly runny on the inside (the residual heat of the omelet will continue to cook the eggs without OVERcooking them), rolled/tri-folded and NEVER BROWN!!!!

Sweet and Savory Breakfast Bread Puddings

Makes a large ceramic dish full, enough for at least 10.

Ingredients:

2 loaves of dense, chewy "real" bread (for savory or sweet) or challah (for sweet only), cubed

1 qt heavy cream

1/2 qt half and half

12 eggs

1 stick butter, melted

(1-2 cups sugar plus 2 T vanilla if sweet or dessert bread pudding)

S.P.

Make the bread pudding: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush ovenproof ceramic dish with some of the melted butter. Whisk together the custard ingredients in large bowl. Toss with the bread cubes, butter and garnish. Mix well. Press into ceramic dish, wrap first with saran (keeps in the moisture), then cover with tin foil. Bake for about an hour, removing saran and tin foil for the last 10 or 15 minutes of cook time. Serve hot.

Some Tried and True Savory Garnish Options:

One.

1 lb rosemary ham, julienned

2 cups gruyere, grated

1 cup gorg, crumbled

a couple of sprigs worth of fresh rosemary, chopped.

Two.

8 oz goat cheese

2 cups provolone, grated

2 cups artichoke hearts, diced

1/2 cup sundried tomatoes, julienne

1 cup bacon, prosciutto or pancetta, diced

a couple of twigs of fresh thyme.

(blanched broccoli rabe would be nice in here, too or instead of something)

Three.

1 lb chorizo, casing removed, crumbled

1 cup poblano peppers, roasted and diced

1 cup red onion, roasted

1/4 c roasted garlic, mashed

3 cups manchego, grated

Sweet Garnish Options:

Four.

Zest of 2 lemons

1 1/2 cup brown sugar

2 T vanilla

2 pints of fresh raspberries

challah

Add the zest, brown sugar and vanilla to the egg cream mixture. Let the custard sit for a while...even overnight...to allow the flavors to develop. Toss with challah cubes. Gently fold in raspberries last thing. Bake in buttered dish, covered with saran and tin foil, for about an hour. Dust sweet bread pudding with powdered sugar. Serve hot.

Five.

3 cups fresh peaches, large diced

1 pt fresh blueberries

some peach nectar

a dash of cinnamon

Please feel free to caramelize the peaches before tossing with bread and custard by sauteing them in some butter and brown sugar in the name of oxidation prevention.

Six.

Lots of Chocolate stuff: chips, chunks of brownies, godiva liquer, etc.

Seven.

Caramelized Bananas (see peaches above)

Pecans

Note: These variations may be too sweet for breakfast/brunch. You might be better off saving them for dessert. If you do, you must serve them with this:

Ridiculously Easy Caramel Sauce

Makes about a cup

1 stick butter

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream

Make the sauce: Melt the butter in medium saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in brown sugar and cream until well blended. Done. Use warm.

Refrigerate whatever is left...yeah, right.

Note: You may add some booze (think rum, kaluah, bourbon, etc) or reduced nectars (peach, mango) to make the sauce even more ridiculous.

Note: The savory custard base and fillings can easily be used for quiche as well.

Store bought (sorry mom) pie shells make the whole quiche thing remarkably easy.

But just in case you are a pie shell purist:

Pie Doe

Makes 2 Nine inch

3 1/3 cups flour

3T sugar

1/4 lb butter

4 1/2 oz shortening

1/2 cup water.

Make crust: Mix flour and sugar in mixing bowl. Cut in butter and shortening: you can do this in an electric mixer, cuisinart or by hand with your fingers, a pastry cutter, two knives (least favorite of all). Add all of the water all at once. Bring dough together, kneading (if by hand) slightly. Do not overwork! Divide the dough. Roll to about a 1/4 inch thick. (I like to roll my pie dough between two pieces of saran. Works like a dream...don't need to use as much flour and easy as pie to transfer to the pie plate.)

Crimp the edges as you like.

Note: For quiche and other pies requiring a bake period, no need to prebake.

Scones

Makes about a dozen, depending on your scoop size.

2 cups flour

1/4 cup sugar

1/2 T baking powder

1/2 t salt (may be eliminated, if using salted butter)

1 stick butter, cut into pieces

1 cup buttermilk

Garnish: i sound like a broken record, but anything goes.

i like: candied ginger peach, dried cranberry pecan, apricot almond.

dried fruits work best, fresh fruits alter the moisture of the dough and can be tricky.

add as much as you like...less if you like more biscuit to your scone, more if you like more treats.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a mixer, combine the dry stuff. Next, cut in butter pieces. You may need to pulse your mixer on and off to prevent a flour shower. When butter is nicely cut in...mixture should be soft and there should be no palpable chunks of butter in the mix...add the garnish. THEN, fold the buttermilk in by hand until dough just comes together, gathering loose crumbs and tucking them in. Scoop scones onto a parchment lined sheet pan. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar and bake for approximately 20 minutes or until golden. Scones will sound slightly hollow when bottom is tapped. It's subtle, so move the scone towards your ear...which leaves them conveniently close to your mouth to finish the job, but blow first. For those not so inclined, you'll just have to wait.

Eat.